Because Words Hurt.....

Let's face it, my blog doesn't have a big audience.  My most read post ever was about Halloween, and I figure that's because a pastor's wife's view point on Halloween could be controversial.  Most of the people who read my blog are my friends, family, and church members, and that's ok with me!  If you are reading this, chances are you know me, and care about me, and my family.  I know that my blog will not have a world wide influence, but I hope that I can, through my writing, effect the hearts and lives of those I know and love.

Today what I am writing about is an issue very near and dear to my heart.  Ending the r-word (retard, or retarded). If you've known me long, you've heard me talk about this before.  But sometimes we need a reminder, because I still hear those I love say it.

Here's the deal.  I personally, have no problem with medical use, or governmental use of the word retardation or mentally retarded.  They use it in a clinical sense, and it means delayed or slowed.  I don't care about all that.  What I cannot stand is when people use the word retard as slang, or as an insult.  "I had a retard moment."  "Dude, you're a retard."  "That's so retarded."  Those words are like nails on a chalkboard.  You see, when you say these things, you are essentially saying.  "I had a Karis moment."  Dude, you're acting like Karis."  "That's so Karis."  I know, you would never say anything like that, but when you use the r-word, that is what a person with an intellectual disablity, or someone who loves them, hears.  You are taking what makes my daughter all that she is, which is wonderful, and using it to call someone or something stupid, bad, less than perfect, dumb, horrible, not worthy.  And, she is certainly not any of those things.  

Many people disagree with me about this and say that parents of people with Down Syndrome, are being over sensitive.  But if you say, "that's so retarded," I can guarantee that you are not saying, "that's as wonderful as ice cream!"  No, what you are saying is, "that's as bad as a person with Down Syndrome" (or any intellectual disability).  It's a derogatory word that's origin is an unflattering comparison to someone with a disability.  The argument that the use of the r-word is NOT offensive, intentionally or not, to people with disabilities, is like saying that you could call someone with an impolite mother an S-O-B, and expect that person not to be offended by the term.  The r-word is offensive.

I know none of you, being my friends and family would ever call Karis a *r-word*.  So please, would you try to remove that word from your language all together?  I'll love you for it!  And, if you feel so inclined, join me in the crusade to end the word.  Let people know, when they use the word, that that's not very nice, pick a different word.  I'd love you for that too!  

If you go to r-word.org  you can make the pledge!  Or, if you would like, leave me a comment here with your pledge!  I usually get about 40-50 reads per blog post.  Can I get 50 people to say "I promise!"?  Holla back now!   

Created by God to be exactly what she is, perfect....

Reflections on a busy week . . .

Hi all!  Busy, busy busy, that's what we've been around here.  Mostly I've been busy making cakes, and doing stuff with and for the kids, dentists, doctors, school projects.  I haven't had a lot to do that I really hate to do.  I mean, no one likes dishes and laundry, but they are a daily part of life.  This week was super busy, but I really enjoyed it!  A thought occurred to me this week, I was happy being busy!  Normally I hate being super busy, it  makes me huffy, and short tempered.  I really like being home with my family.  But I realized that this week was just the right amount of busy, and full of things that I enjoy doing.
I've been thinking about busyness.  There are times when I have way to much to do, that I get irritable and grouchy.  Then there are weeks that I have nothing to do, and after a few days I feel depression start to set in.  I am starting to wonder if boredom and depression are look alike cousins.
I started to think about God's plan for busyness vs. rest.  God has layed out a perfect plan for us.  He worked for 6 days, and rested for one, and he loved what he was doing.  God didn't sit around and watch TV, and play on Facebook for four days, then finally get around to creating something, and then go back to the couch.  God worked, and he rested.  He had just the right amount of busy.
I've been thinking about this ratio of rest vs busyness.  We need to find the right ratio.  I really think that we need to busy enough that really look forward to, and enjoy our rest.  When I think about it, I can name a dozen or more stay at home moms I know that are struggling with depression.  I'm a stay at home mom, so don't think I am against being home, I'm not.  But I think there are many of us who have the ratio wrong.  We have too much rest, and that leads to depression, or maybe just boredom, his look alike cousin.  Facebook, TV, dishes and laundry aren't enough to keep our minds and bodies active.  It's too much rest.  We need to do more.  We need interaction with others.  We need to do something we enjoy.  Maybe what we need is to be busier. 
I'm not saying that all of us Stay at Home Moms need to go out and get a job.  No, we have chosen to stay home for a reason.  But maybe what we do need is to get out into the community, volunteer, do something for others.  I can guarantee you that if you are looking for something to fill a little of your time and keep you active, nothing will fulfill you more, than doing something to benefit someone else.  Maybe you need a hobby, something that you can't wait to get the housework done so that you can get to it.   Most of the happiest Stay at Home Moms I know keep busy making something with their hands, or volunteering in the community.
You know yourself best.  Are you busy enough?  Or do you have the rest vs busyness ratio off.  If you are pretty busy, is it with way too much that you don't enjoy?  Do you need to dedicate more time to doing things that fulfill you?

Just something that's been rolling around in my head?  Any thoughts?  Do share!

Just bragging on my girl...

Hi all!
I thought I would drop you all a quick update on how Karis' development is coming along!  First of all, she has been going pee pee in the potty for 6 days now!  We are just putting her in a t-shirt and pull up during the day, and she still pees in her pull-up a little bit.  However, she is going in the potty 5-6 times a day.  Yay!  
Speech-  As many of you know we stopped teaching Karis anymore sign language, so she is holding steady at about 45 signs.  It was keeping her from trying to speak, and I think the strategy worked.  I keep a running list of her words, and I don't remember when I last updated it, but whenever that was, her vocabulary has more than doubled since then.  Here's the current list
up
down
all done
hi
bye bye
Chili- our dog
daddy
bubba-what we call Keaton
love you
that
this
----that's the old list, here are the additions
all gone
mama
Pappa
Booboo-Memaw or Momo, her grandmas
bagel
cheese 
potty
eat
cookie
baby
belly
ow
ball
moo- like a cow
bzzzz-like a bee
baaa-like a sheep
ball
ya-as in yes
Beautiful- buebue
elbow- Behbow
Elmo-bobo.


That's 32 things!!!  I'm so proud of her.  She hasn't had speech therapy since May, and she is still doing well. Smarty pants!
I'll add update this list if she says anything in the next few days that I forgot to add.


That's all for now! Have a great weekend!

Friday Funnies . . .

I know I've slacking with the blogging lately. I haven't been in the mood! Haha! I did want to say hi to you all though and give you a good laugh today. A good buddy reminded me today how much I love Brian Regan, so I thought I would post another great clip of his comedy. Come on, you owe yourself a 5 minute laugh!







Here's another laugh.  I just posted this to my husband's blog by mistake!  He was logged in, and I didn't bother to look at whose account I was on!  Oh well, I deleted it. Haha, just the kind of thing I would do, right?!
Have a great weekend everyone!
love to you all
Tracy






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The Struggle . . . . . .

I was thinking today about a couple that I knew from college, the Pittmans. I didn't know them well, but I know who they are. The wife, Jessica is undergoing major brain surgery today. Click here if you want to know more about that. I have been checking the updates and tearfully praying for them. I can't imagine what they are going through, the fear, pain, and uncertainty.

Whenever I hear of someone I know having a major struggle like this, my first emotion is shock, and then certain thoughts always fill my mind. How can this be happening? How are they dealing with this? Why did this happen to them? How can someone get through something like this? What an incredibly difficult, and scary situation. And I pray.

The older I get, the more I see my friends, family, acquaintances, and friends of friends dealing with the hardest parts of life, and it seems like I hear a new tragic story everyday. It made me realize one thing. Everyone has "a thing." I don't really know what to call it, a struggle maybe. It's that thing that changes your life forever and really, shapes who you are from then on.
My college roommate lost her brother to cancer before she was 30.
My best friend from college now has Lupus.
Another acquaintance from college lost her husband in a car accident about a year after graduation.
A high school friend of mine recently lost his newborn daughter.
A couple I know is dealing with devastating marital issues.

A divorce, an illness, a child born disabled, a rebellious child, families that don't get along, the devastating loss of a loved one. All of these things make us secretly think to ourselves, "I'm so glad it's not me." But most of us have our own struggle even if it's one that no one sees like addiction or chronic depression, and we deal with it in our own way, with God's help.  Everyone has a struggle.  Well, I suppose there are a few that sail through life unscathed, but not many.  As difficult and devastating as these things are, the sun will still rise tomorrow, and God leads us through.  God is faithful.  Unfortunately, having one such struggle doesn't exempt us of another one. It reminds me of the song "Everybody's Free to Wear Sunscreen."  Remember this song?  Although I don't agree with all of the "wisdom" here, there is one part that always comes to my mind when struggle has found someone I know.

Don't worry about the future.

Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blindside you at 4 pm on some idle Tuesday.

Many of you know how true that statement is. Painfully true. There is no point in worrying.  The Bible makes that same point time and time again.  

I guess I don't have much of a point today.  I just had Jessica Pittman on my mind and it turned into a blog.  Please pray for her.  What ever struggle you have been handed in life, trust the Lord.

Matthew Chapter 625 "That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life...........27 Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?.............30 And if God cares so wonderfully for wildflowers that are here today and thrown into the fire tomorrow, he will certainly care for you. Why do you have so little faith?
31 "So don't worry about these things,....................32 These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs.33 Seek the Kingdom of God* above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.  34 "So don't worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will bring its own worries. Today's trouble is enough for today.

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How I Really Feel about Halloween (You Might be Surprised).....

Well, Halloween is over, and as much as I wanted to blog about this before Halloween, honestly I just didn't have the guts.  I know this post is going to open a can of worms, and cause debate.  I hate debate.  I'm not one who likes to argue.  I also know that in posting this, there will people that I love and respect that will be disappointed me, for having this view.  That being said, I feel I must make my feelings known, and share how I really feel about Halloween.  The truth is................... I don't hate it.  GASP!  Fellow Christians and Pastors, please, hear  me out. 



Point #1- You can take part in Halloween, without taking part in evil.

Don't get me wrong, I fully understand the roots of Halloween, and what it meant to most people hundreds of years ago, and a few people today as far as satanism and paganism etc.  And I fully understand the scriptures people use to support their stance against Halloween.  I understand that scripture says to flee even the appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:22). 
But here are a few things I would like you to know about some common "acceptable" practices.
1.  The dates that we celebrate Christmas and Easter have pagan roots.  Do I care?  No.  I don't care what calender day we set aside to celebrate the birth and resurrection of Jesus.  What's important is that we DO celebrate those things.
2.  The wedding ring you are wearing is a pagan symbol.  (Google it for it's many ancient meanings.)  And the fact that we have bridesmaids and groomsmen in a wedding is an ancient pagan practice.  The belief was that on the day of the wedding, evil spirits would try to overtake the bride and the groom.  The extra people by their sides, who would at that time be dressed identically to the bride and groom, were meant to confuse the spirits as to who the actual bride and groom were.  Are these the same reasons we practice these traditions today?  Of course not.  These things mean something different to us now. 
3.  Saying "bless you" when someone sneezes is a pagan practice.  The belief was the when you sneeze, evil spirits would enter your body through your nose.  People said "bless you" to keep that from happening.  We don't believe that today, it is just good manners.

Just as the meaning of language changes over time, so does the meaning of our common practices.  The origin of these traditions, does not make them evil today.  I do realize that Halloween is a little different in that we still see people dabbling in evil with haunted houses, creepy costumes, and scary decorations.  But friends, we as Christians do not have to, and definitely should NOT be a part of those things.  The Bible says to flee even the appearance of evil (1 Thess 5:22).   I really don't see that my two kids, dressed as Spongebob, and a butterfly, visiting our neighbors and eating candy, as any kind of evil.  But, many will say in contrast that if we take part in Halloween at all, that we celebrate all of it, evil included.  With that logic, we should never shop in grocery store that sells alcohol, and we should never see a movie in a place where R movies are also shown.  I don't know about you, but I saw Toy Story, and liked it! And I can't find a grocery that doesn't sell several things that I would NEVER buy. 
Also, (stepping on my soapbox) adults, if you are in the habit of watching TV shows like CSI, and a number of others, that glorify murder and violent crime, and you are now standing up against Halloween, you are being a hypocrite.  (stepping down)


Now, you may see all I have said as nothing but as excuse to take my kids trick-or-treating, but here is what I really want you to understand. 

Point #2  As Christians we should not "hide out" on Halloween.

Halloween is a social event.  It is the one day that your neighbors will come to your house and ask for a small treat.  It is also the one day that it is acceptable to knock on their doors asking for a treat.  Your neighbors will also be out on the street with their kids, having a good time, and talking to people.  How much time do we spend in meetings trying to figure out new ways to connect with our community, only to turn off our lights and pretend not be home on the one night when people want to interact with us?   This is our chance to open our doors, be friendly, get to know our neighbors, and meet new ones.  If your are not handing out candy, you are missing a ministry opportunity.  And really, really, is there any harm in handing out candy?  We have often printed out cute invitations to children's church and given those out with candy too. 
Some churches are having harvest parties as an alternative to Halloween.  What?  Having kids dress up, and come to your church to play games and get candy is not "doing Halloween"?  And can we be so foolish as to think that they will not trick or treat before they come, or after?  The event is a good idea actually.  I think we should hold fun events for kids, where we can share Jesus with them.  But lets pass on the condemnation and guilt that comes with it, for those families who will still let their kids participate in other Halloween activities as well.   Having a harvest party is at least better than hiding out in our homes.  But friends, why are we all congregating in one place, on the one night when everyone else is out on the street.  We are truely putting our lamp under a bowl (Mat 5:15) We are hiding our light.

Here's my point.  Do I hate devil worship?  Yes.  Do I hate costumes and candy?  No.  In my opinoin, I think the best approach for Christians on Halloween is:
1.  Let your children dress up in cute costumes, not devils, witches, gouls, vampires, murderers etc. 
2.  Turn your light on and show yourself friendly and hospitable to your neighbors when they come by for candy.  If you don't do anything else, at least do that.  Maybe handout tracts, or invitations to church too!
3.  Get out on the street with your kids, meet some new people, and build better relationships with those you already know. 
4.  If you like to decorate, use things that are fall-ish like pumpkins, fall leaves, and scarecrows etc.  Skip the tombstones, skeletons, and witches etc.
5.  If you want to hold an event to share Jesus, do it.  But, don't intend on people being there the whole evening.  And, make sure that you don't need, or expect your whole church to be there.  Otherwise we've taken all the light, and put in one place.

Friends, the world see us as stuck-up, hypocritical, and no fun.  Let's show them otherwise, and show them the love of Jesus while we're at it. 


Your comments are welcome.  Love to you all!
Tracy



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Where's My Blog ?!?!?!

AHHHH!  Where's my blog?  I'm just kidding!  I am happy to be a guest blogger over at my friend Beth's blog "Our Typical Life."  So, if you want to keep up on the life and times of the McCains.  Come on over and read!

Click HERE to find me!

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