An interesting thing happened to me the other day. I was on Facebook, and I read a status from a friend. It was casual, not life altering in anyway, and I commented, along with many other people, in an equally casual way. About 5 seconds later the most freeing, and quite life altering thought came to me: I'm not mad any more.
You see, this particular person, several years ago, hurt me so deeply, so intensely, and offended me on such a level, that I really, honestly, thought I would never be able to think about this person without rage overtaking me ever again. But, it happened. I'm not mad anymore, and it feels GGGGRRRRRREEEAAT! (in my best Tony the Tiger voice, of course!)I don't know exactly when it happened, but God has healed this wound, over time.
Whilst (yes, whilst) thinking about this, it occurred to me that God has completely healed another wound in my life. When Karis was born 2 1/2 years ago, her diagnosis crushed me to my core. I remember sitting in Red Robin with Tim while she was in the hospital, and weeping. I thought we would never again be able to sit in Red Robin, or any other public place, and just be the anonymous American family. We would always be "that family," receiving stares and making others uncomfortable. That just isn't true, I know that now. But at the time, I was devastated. However, now, 2 1/2 years later, I delight in my daughter, not despite her disability, but because of all that she is. Having Down Syndrome is part of that. I am so excited to see what God will do in her life, and what ministry opportunites will be opened to Tim and I, because we have now been down this road. After all, one can not lead someone out of the desert unless he has been there himself. I am so overjoyed to have her in my life. Did anything change? No. But, God healed that wound, over time. He has truely turned my mourning in dancing.
You have turned my mourning into joyful dancing. You have taken away my clothes of mourning and clothed me with joy (NLT)
What has occurred to me, while pondering these two things, is that life is not a snapshot. (I actually stole that phrase from a song because it so accurately states my point, and if I could think of what the song is, I would post it, but I can't!) Life is not a snapshot. Life is not defined by what you see right now. God is always working, and it time you will see the bigger picture of what he is doing. God heals wounds, calms storms, does miracles, and changes us over time.
Some things devastate us because they are permanent. A diagnosis, death, a tragic event, things that can't be changed (unless God does the impossible!) It can often seem as though our life is now defined by that one thing, but God is still working, and in time, how you feel about a certain situation may, and probably will change. Now don't get me wrong. You'll never be happy that a loved one died, etc. But what will happen is, in time, God will grant you peace. God will help you forgive. God will help you move on to a place of joy, not devastation, not anger, not rage, not sorrow. Life is not a snap shot, give it time.
The only reason I am writing this, is that I know someone needs to hear it. Including me.
Here I am, in a similar situation, at odds with someone, and it rips me apart. (Haven't we all been there, even pastor's wives!!!) As hard as I try to give it over to God, that's so hard to do. But, I know in time that God will heal us both. The previous two situations show me that He will. Thank you God, I praise You for that!
Are you in the desert right now too, even in just one area of your life? Give it time. Life is not a snapshot. Things will not always be as they are.
This was a hard one for me to write. Deep Breath. One.. Two.. Three.. POST!
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